I love how Oprah Winfrey says that when her girls at her Academy in South Africa are telling her they are stuck in some struggle she advises them to “find their flow, what is true for them.”
The best way to find this is to be still and go within to listen for inner guidance. The subconscious knows what is best for you. It knows what job is best for you and what will make you happy. It knows the best environment for you.
You can access the higher self or intuition when you are still, in the present moment. Fear, uncertainty and doubt will disconnect us from our connection with the higher self and intuition.
The higher self is the part of you that wants to look on the bright side, which is always there. It is the loving part of you, the part of you that knows all the answers, knows exactly what to do and it is the part of you that will never lead you wrong, and will always tell you the truth.
Your own inner guidance can be felt in your body. What is true for you will feel good in your body. Things that are not true or not in your best interest will cause constriction somewhere. Different people feel this constriction more strongly in different places. I feel it strongly in my gut. This is where the “go with your gut feeling” wisdom comes from. I also feel it in my throat, as a constriction in my throat.
I remember about ten years ago, I was struggling to find a way to make more money and still have a good schedule for raising my new baby daughter. I talked with a childhood friend’s sister who was a nurse and had become certified to do CAT scans and x-rays. She said it made good money and would be great for me to do. I thought that would be the ticket for me, while some people in my family wisely thought it really was not a good fit for me.
I remember feeling very tense right before I started the community college program to get certified, so I got a massage. I told the massage therapist what I was doing and that I was not sure about it. She asked me what my body felt like when I thought about starting the program. I said my stomach was all in knots. She said then that was not a good sign, and that my body was telling me it was not right for me. I remember thinking to myself at the time, “Oh, that is interesting! I have never heard about listening to my own body.”
I did it anyway and started the two year program to get certified for the job out of fear that I did not know a better option and I blew $20,000 that I had saved up. I had to pay for child care, expenses etc. Then I only stayed for half the program, which was a whole year, before I realized that it was awful for me.
In the book, Pivot, Adam Markel talks about asking for inner guidance from the higher self or one’s spirit. One way to do this is in meditation, which is a great way to find stillness and be able to hear the subconscious. You can ask your spirit a question. The guidance will come one step at a time and does not always seem rational at all. The guidance can feel like an inner knowing. It is also the same as intuition. The key is the more you follow it the stronger it gets and the better you get at hearing it. It will never ever lead you wrong.
The guidance is step by step and does not take you in a seemingly straight path. So it can be scary living your life this way. Since you can never be guided wrong if you truly listen to this inner guidance, it is really worth the effort to cultivate it.
It works best if you are relaxed in Alpha brain state and completely present in your body, meaning feeling awareness of all parts of the body.
It will not work if you are in victim mode and habitually looking at the sad, scary side of things. The trick is to recognize when you are in victim or fear state. For me sometimes even though I am conscious of this truth, I still get stuck in fear. And I don't even realize I am there. At this point, I am thinking about when I was hurt and wounded and I am drawn to see the crappy, struggle-filled side of life. And I start to want to take measures to protect myself from any perceived harm that could possibly come about in the future. This is where inner guidance and our true power source crumbles into oblivion.
Many years ago when I was on a grant to do ceramic sculpture in Jing De Zhen, China, I heard the phrase “Da Qi” a lot. Now I understand better what it means. It means literally “big energy”. It is a big compliment in China to say someone is “big energy” and it is an insult to say someone is “xiao qi” or small energy. When a person is “Da Qi” they are generous, grounded, kind, wise, loving and understanding. As in Star Wars, “the Force is with them”. On the other hand when a person is “qiao qi” or little energy, they are stuck in fear and worry, struggle, stinginess and the crappy side of life.
I wrote in the two former blogs how to expand out with Source light and love. Once we are expanded, the problems become so much smaller. And then we don't feel stuck any more. This along with relaxing into Alpha state with a breathing pattern and feeling awareness of all parts of the body in order to focus in the present moment enables us to leave the fear, struggle and worry behind.